Friday, February 15, 2008

Midway

A belated Valentine poem, for the lil Hucky. Again, to the Benevolent Overlord of Poetry Friday, we say thank you. We're not worthy!

Today's word is "time."

In the span of seconds
it took to kiss you
that first time
I heard the murmur and rustle
of our pasts, queuing up patiently
for our tilt-a-whirl future
our hopes lifted improbably aloft
like spinning plates balanced
on finger thin poles

10 comments:

Eric Shonkwiler said...

Very good. Dig the distanced alliteration of p at the end.

Irrelephant said...

Nicely played, Cc.

Mother of Invention said...

And that moment's vision materialized?! Nicely put. Always neat to go back in time to when we wondered where things would take us and how far. Now in mid-life, it's kinda cool and just comfortable to feel things all worked out. Not true for all people but I thank my lucky stars it turned out that way for me.

oldone said...

Nice work Clowncar. There is a mile of nerve between reading a blog and writing one.
Scary qoute: Everything ever made from plastic is still in existence, just in smaller pieces.
FYI; the "red circle" atround the asteroid (Feb.7) iaactually green.

Maggie said...

You have a gift for using few words to elicit clear and piercing imagery. I love your use of the word span because for me it took the 'seconds' from short to expansive and the rest of the poem's images elongated with it. Lovely.

Clowncar said...

Thanks, Eric, but I just changed "sapling" to "finger" in the last line, alliteration be damned. Sapling thin poles would be too thick for plate-spinning.

Thanks, Irr.

MOI, those moments are nice to look back on. And I thank my lucky stars every day (or try to).

Old Man, quit stealing material from Elmore Leonard's westerns.

Thanks, Ms. Moss, for such kind words. I don't write much poetry, but the Poetry Friday thing is a fun little end of the week diversion. Who else participates?

Nancy Dancehall said...

Beautiful. And I agree; I love the use of 'span' as it denotes both time and distance.

Do I know 'Oldone?' :-)

Mona Buonanotte said...

Love is a carnival...terrific!

Clowncar said...

Thanks, Pants. My guilty secret is that I think I used "span" because I'd been coding CSS all morning, but I'll take credit for the word choice, deserved or not.

Mona, the kiss actually took place in a parking lot, not a carnival midway, but if a date could have had clowns, elephants, and high-wire performers, this one would have.

Clowncar said...

p.s. - Nance, Oldone would be my Dad.