Monday, May 11, 2009

World Gone Mad

The Mets have won seven in a row, and now sit atop the National League East, albeit with a narrow lead. Their big man, Johann Santana, arguably the best pitcher in the National League, takes the mound tonight. Against the hated Atlanta Braves. On ESPN.

Can you tell I'm psyched?

I taught the little clowncars how to read the standings this weekend. Win column, loss column, streak column. They're a couple years away from learning the elegant brevity of a box score. So much information contained in such a small box of numbers.

Ah, Spring. Ah, baseball.

Our mortgage company, which I will not name, but which rhymes with Skank of America, has asked for: my last 2 pay stubs, my 401K, the last 2 months of bank activity for me and the huquita, our W2's for the last 2 years, and, oddest of all, our marriage certificate (since we have different last names).

Meanwhile, last week's banking stress tests says they may need to borrow another $34 billion. From me. The taxpayer.

What is wrong with this picture?


meno said...

I wonder what paperwork we should ask for. Maybe the W-2s of the top execs?

I have a different last name than my husband, and over 27 years, no one has ever asked for a marriage certificate. Odd that.

Gordo said...

How very odd. You don't need to be married to buy a house together.

They should just buy you the house outright and call it even.

Clowncar said...

Meno, I think we should ask to see how much they frittered away on bonuses and perks. And I'll gladly document how I frivolously spend my money on fripperies like food and clothing.

Gordo, we have separate accounts, plus a joint account, but the loan is in my name, so proof of marriage is so they'll know I have access to her funds.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Go Rockies! ;o)

I snorted Earl Gray tea in my nose laughing at your financial institutions nom de guerre...

*belly laughing*

...I have to go now.



Scarlett & Viaggiatore