Thursday, February 10, 2011

Wherein I Continue the Kraken Metaphor

A few weeks have passed since the girls last brought up their bio-parents and adoption documentation. Not forgotten, certainly, just dormant, waiting underwater, stoic and inscrutable. Then, youngest found an 8 year old phone number scrawled into the margins of the medical forms documenting her birth, with the note "need phone # of mom" above it.

The girls got all sorts of excited when they saw it. I spent about 45 minutes sitting on youngest's bed that night, patiently answering questions. Yes, we'll call it this weekend. No, I don't think she'll be there, it's a pretty old number. Yes, we can meet her if she answers. Yes, you can talk to her. Yes, she can have dinner with us at our house. Yes, she can spend the night if she needs to. No, she can't live here. Well, okay, if she doesn't have anywhere to live she can live here. On and on, well past bedtime, breaking my heart as I knew the eventual disappointment that would follow the call.

And so, the call was necessarily anti-climactic; we called (on speakerphone so all could here), I asked for the Mom's name, the man who answered said "wrong number." That was it. We went about our day. Their questions, their fears, their hopes dive once more fathoms deep under the surface of our daily lives, enduring, waiting to rise again.


Anonymous said...

They're lucky to have you.


Hilary said...

I totally agree with Beth. And they know it. Hugs to all of you.

John Romeo Alpha said...

Tough call, and you think about all the paths that could have opened up ahead if she had answered. Also for consideration though: the paths from not calling. Also: the path you are on, the one where she did not answer. What happens next?

Sarah Sometimes said...

You are a most attentive and loving dad. I, too, am glad the girls have you (and their mom, too, because I know if you are great she must be, too!)

Fresca said...

Uff da. I felt like I had a weight pressing on my solar plexus, reading this.

Clowncar said...

Thank you Beth. I'm not sure they'd agree. Certainly not when we're asking them to do their homework.

Hil, as I told Beth, they "know" it sporadically at best. Which is fine. They don't need to know it. might even be better if they don't.

John, you bikers and your "path" metaphors. It would - and I'll bolg about this oone day soon - be an easier path to never get in contact with her. Easier, but not correct.

Thanks Sarah. I feil I sometime give Hux short shrift on the blog, in that I'm unnaturally self-involved, and tend to say "I" when "we" would be more appropriate. Thanks for giving her some well deserved props.

Fresca, it was hard in the days leading up to the call, as I was fairly sure it'd end in disappointment. I told them "don't get your hopes up" a couple times, to try to temper the reaction, but what a horrible sentence to say to your kids! Of course they should get their hopes up. Just know that it may end in a disappointing manner.