Monday, June 23, 2008

The Secret News

Selfishly, I rarely comment on the world outside the walls of my life, unless it's really far outside those walls. But George Carlin's mix of humor and honesty and anger deserves some mention. I remember my sister playing "The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" for my parents on our ancient record player, and the sight of my parent's faces frozen midway between laughter and disapproval (to their credit, they eventually fell rather easily into laughter). I felt my own little world open up, and the absurdity of the adult world get deliciously closer.

Anyway. Heard this on the radio today, and it stuck in my head. I stole it from a blog called Meow. She stole it from Carlin's book When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

Funny and brave, angry and true:


The Secret News

by George Carlin

Announcer: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the secret news. Ssshhh. Here’s the secret news:

All people are afraid.
No one knows what they’re doing.
Everything is getting worse.
Some people deserve to die.
Your money is worthless.
No one is properly dressed.
At least one of your children will disappoint you.
The system is rigged.
Your house will never be completely clean.
All teachers are incompetent.
There are people who really dislike you.
Nothing is as good as it seems.
Things don’t last.
No one is paying attention.
The country is dying.
God doesn’t care.
Ssshhh.

10 comments:

minijonb said...

Sigh. This is such a sad day.

Hilary said...

The Seven Words.. that's exactly what I remember best. My Mother's face.. priceless. She was about 60 at the time.. I a mere teenager. It helped bridged a gap, for sure.

Eric Shonkwiler said...

Lord. Who do we look to now?

meno said...

So true, so funny, so sad.

But funny.

Clowncar said...

Sad indeed, everyone. It was nice to see him so widely eulogized in the media. Lotsa good clips I had entirely forgotten (though they leaned a little heavily on the 7 Words You Can't Say). My favorite quote I (re)learned: "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

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